The Ultimate Fighter Heavyweights Episode Recap: Titties

The show opens with a montage of Darrill Schoonover drinking in the morning and ironically, Matt Mitrione urging him to go to practice even though he’s hungover and/or drunk.

At practice, Rashad Evans introduces muay Thai coach Phil Nurse to the team and we’re off into a sweet training montage. Schoonover’s timing is off when he’s sparring and James McSweeney rats him out to the coaches, telling them that Schoon is a drunk. The coaches have a sit down with him and Evans tells him that “drinkin’ is causing a problem with your conditioning.” Evans explains later that Schoonover is a diamond in the rough and that “there’s something in Schoonover that [Team Rampage] just don’t know.”

Team Rampage arrives and when the coach feels that Schoonover is lingering too long, Jackson goes after him again, calling him “Titties.” This time Schoonover starts jawing , telling Rampage he’ll drop to 205 to fight him and Jackson follows him out of the gym, saying, “I’ll serve your ass.” Schoonover suggests they have a sparring session but nothing comes of it.

At the fight announcement Evans selects Schoonover and Zak Jensen. “Got milk, bitch,” asks Jackson, triggering a back-and-forth of fuck yous. Schoonever swells up and steps to Jackson but his teammates intercede. “Walk up on me again, your ass is gonna be in trouble,” says Jackson. If these dudes keep it up they are both gonna end up in the vice principal’s office.

Back at the house the cameras explore Zak Jensen’s isolation. “He’s almost like Piggy from ‘Lord of the Flies’ at this point,” says Abe Wagner. Everyone in the house thinks that Jensen is going to explode and Wes Sims starts a betting pool predicting when it will happen. John Madsen wants to make Jensen cry and Mitrione says he and Jensen are on good terms but picks a day anyway.

Now comes the segment where we get to know each fighter better in a couple of minutes. Schoonover shows off his bad ink of a clown holding a woman’s severed head and Evans calls him “serial killer weird.” Evans praises Schoonover’s hands and says the strategy will be to stand and bang with Jensen. The next thing we see is Team Rampage arriving at the gym with a mounted poster featuring a caricature of each coach and member of Team Rashad. Team Rampage is trying to clown but down 5-0, Jackson’s the one wearing big shows and a red nose right now.

Team Rampage starts practicing and Kimbo Slice questions Jensen’s confidence. When Jensen gets cut while drilling, Slice celebrates, saying later, “I get to bang again!” Alas for Kimbo, Jensen soldiers on and starts to gain his coaches respect with some solid sparring. “Being the first fighter on Team Rampage to win a fight would be pretty ironic,” Jensen says.

On fight morning Rampage and Tiki Ghosn vandalize the placard on Team Rashad’s door, further proof that Jackson was already mentally checked out. Writing “Titties” under Schoonover’s name did little to distract Team Rashad and makes it appear that Team Rampage’s priorities are terminally flawed. The editor bounces back and forth between Rampage’s pre-fight talk, which appears to center completely on Schoonover’s chest, and Evans’ motivational chatter, which gets weird for a minute when he tells Schoonover that, “God loves you so much.” Schoonover dismisses Rampage as an “arrogant prick” and it’s time to fight.

Both guys come out throwing leather. Schoonover seems to land more shots but Jensen is taking them. They clinch and Schoonover pushes Jensen against the fence. They pummel and trade places with Schoonover against the fence. “Titties” gets free, gets plum and lands some knees to Jensen’s body. He lets his hands go it and it looks like he might stop Jensen but the Team Rampage fighter shoots the leg and takes Schoonover down. The Team Rashad fighter immediately goes for a triangle and holds it while Jensen stacks him and throws hammer fists. They trade punches but Jensen never really works to escape the choke and finally succumbs, losing consciousness momentarily. “Titties” wins by submission.

For once, Team Rampage is supportive of Jensen, who breaks down in the lockerroom, and we get a preview of next week’s episode which appears to involve Mitrione pissing people off again and both Mitrione and Rampage losing their minds.